Compassion Runneth Low

...and you're telling me this because...

Way 2 Go

...so I take my scooter a/k/a "da Black Dag'" down to one of the local motorcycle shops for an insurance inspection. Salesman grabs clipboard and we head out to the parking lot to have a look. I say (because I'm embarrassed that the scooter is dusty and past due for service) "well, she's dirty and she needs a service". Really? Fucktard. Cheezenugget. If I could have grabbed the words and chomped on them furiously just to take them back...I would have been that girl. Instead, the salesman gave a little cough and continued walking toward the scooter. I have a hunch that the guy has a quick and sharp wit.....but he let that little Freudian slip go. Grazie! Grazie! What's my rule about excuses: don't give 'em...no one is really that interested anyway. Stick with that next time Smoothie!

Believe me...there are times when I do say the appropriate thing at the perfect moment...but more often than not I'm just giddily chewing on a foot with a side of Horsey sauce.

I'm off...I believe there is a service to schedule...

Please Pass the Goop

So the birthday road trip started a little something like this...

12:15 pm on Friday I ring Scalder for her 20 and ETA. Scalder informs me that she is 3 minutes out and to have my s**t ready to go. Done. I grab my tiny weekender bag and bucket for picking blackberries and I head up the hill to the main road. Scalder rolls up and jumps out of Boris....laughing. She hands me the chosen soundtrack (Sex in the City). I unwrap the cd and...we're off.

I5 north is uneventful yet gorgeous in spite of the fact that Lake Shasta is so low it looks like it is just perilously spinning down the bathtub drain.

Ashland is always the welcome detour...coffee, brief window shopping (though I do convince Scalder to purchase the perfect silk scarf)...and I take a local up on his offer of "Free Hugs". I spot the young man on the other side of the crosswalk. I say "okay, this could get weird", but I walk up to the young man and say "I'll take a hug" and so it is...an easy transference of energy.

Sutherlin - we drive to the parking lot where the show n' shine, sock hop and Blackberry Festival activities are underway in search of Wayne Calder. This should be easy enough - gentleman, 60's, white t shirt, white hair. Wrong. There are several men that fit the description at this shindig. Wayne has been heading up the Blackberry Festival for 20 years and the man is tired. It is time to pass the torch...or at least, a microphone to his daughter so that she can give him a proper speech. But really - - I think all she wants to do is dance at the sock hop, in that parking lot, at the Blackberry Festival with her daddy. And to watch those two dance is really something.

Before all the twirling to Johnny Be Good...food is in order. Wayne, his girlfriend Jenny, Shannon, a few family friends and me....head on over to the Dakota Station Street Pizza (or some configuration of similar names). Just like last year...the place is packed. Pizza (and beer)...usually a stand-alone meal, no? Not at Dakota's...oh no, there is no pizza to be had without a side (also served on a large metal pizza pie pan) of....Spuds. Spuds are tater-disk-perfection...elevated to the heavens when dressed (heavily) with Goop. Yes. Spuds. Yes. Goop. Not special sauce, not ranch, not ketchup...but Goop. Goop is found on every table in HUGE squeeze bottles. Scalder and I have talked about this meal for a year....this is going to be starchtastic -spuds, pizza and a liquid loaf of bread. Yes!!!!! Screw you Valerie Bertinelli... mama wants some carbs. The spuds are served up - too hot to eat. And then, something happens. I become shy. What I really want is to grab my fistful of spuds and douse them with Goop; but I can't reach the Goop. I must ask for it....but I clam up. "um, may I...." trails off... "could you..." tries to make eye contact with the passer and the Goop. Finally, I look at Scalder...who sees me eyeball the huge container of Goop and she says..."Oh, you want the GOOP...". There. Done. I keep the Goop nearby to avoid that kind of uncomfortable exchange again. I become territorial. 'You want Goop? Go get your own damn bottle...there's 2 on every table damn it....mine mine...!! My blood sugar spikes to levels beyond normal human health as I consume my meal-starchtacular and I begin to hum John Mayer's 'Wonderland'.

We amble back across the parking lot. More people come up to chat with Wayne Calder and to say hello to Shannon. Butch, Carol, Will and his new girlfriend Jennifer talk Blackberry Festival politics. A couple of festival devotees are already swaying on the blacktop in front of the Kool Aid pitcher tip jar next to the stage. Time passes - I almost succomb to a Spud-coma...but we head over to Si, Casa de Flores for blackberry margaritas. Our group heads to the back room and bowl 'o margaritas are brought out to the long table. Suddenly a staff person named Pedro approaches me with a massive, gaudy sombrero. I'm game...I see where this is going. "Feliz Cumpleanos Ponchita..." and all that. Wrong. Pedro gives a naughty boy smirk as he unbuttons the top of his shirt with one hand and holds a Black Russian shot in the other. For the second time that day I say this to myself "Okay, this could get weird". The lights go off. The lights go on. Pedro is going to bring the funk. I, on the other hand am a giggly, hysterical mess....I feel like I have stepped aboard the tilt 'o whirl and can't stop laughing. Pedro takes off his apron and starts to ride it...I take my shot in two go's...it was so much better than Chevy's!

tbc..........

It's Midnight Somewhere...

Asaro & Scalder doing their best to channel Elton John

Yes, dear readers...it's that time. Feliz Cumpleanos de Ambercita!

Tall tales from the Blackberry Festival weekend and birthday pics coming soon...

Cheers Indeed,

-A

Squeeze Me

...musing over broken hearts and how we've handled our own - as well as the hearts that we broke...dear friend smiles a wicked smile and says "ooooh, and what about the ones we don't know about..." I smile back and just make a 'hmmmmmm' sound as I pick up the ketchup bottle and begin to write on my hash browns.

Touch - Sound - Smell

Mmmmm. Received the sweetest piece of mail today - soft fabric, wonderful scent, music and that note...the note that makes me smile and want to read it again.

Thank You.