Pop Lock & Drop It

Today I fell down. I fall a lot - as anyone who has spent minute amounts of time with me know. My tumble this afternoon took place on Burnside in Portland. I was walking past a rescue mission with a friend...ironically we were talking about my weak ankles as I looked up to see a man inside the shelter lobby wave to me. I waved back and carried on about the ankles. Then as we proceeded past a row of homeless people sitting along the wall I slipped on a banana peel. Immediately one of the homeless men rushed to my aid. I was startled and embarresed. Talking about my frequent falls only to fall during my lament about...frequent falling. All of this in a pair of no-slip clogs. Screw it...I favor caution when choosing my footwear, but I'm just going to fall anyway...might as well do it in sexy shoes.

Thank you to that man who helped me when I fell down today...you never know who is going to come to your rescue.

The Geeklet Has Landed

I packed up the moving truck Saturday morning and hit the road with Ms. V wailing in the kitty carrier nestled in the passenger seat. There were no overwhelming feelings of sadness, or anxiety. However, I did drive the truck (the first quarter of the trip) as if it were much larger than it was (there's a joke in there somewhere...) Finally, I relaxed and drove long stretches in silence. The adventure has begun.

I am officially at-large in the Pacific Northwest.

What will I miss?

I'm sitting in the kitchen looking out the window at Bally. Friends have made the trek to Disneyland this week and I'm here at the helm. This has been a nice precurser to the two weeks ahead where I have to pack and wind things down here in Redding. Leaving hasn't really sunk in yet...maybe it won't be this dramatic thing after all...maybe I'm actually ready to go. But I wonder...

What will I miss?

It's a question that can't be answered for a while, I know. But as I sit here looking out the window, feeling the cool pre-autumn breeze I ponder such things. I know I will miss hearing the train several times a day, the horn that sounds at Gerlinger's, Post Office burgers, dear friends, Whiskeytown...my grandma. The rest will have to wait to sink in...it might surprise me.

leap of faith

changes. scary, exciting changes. i mentioned earlier this year that 35 was going to be a birthday that i had mixed feelings about. well, i turned 35 last week. this week i'm looking a possible move square in the face. nothing is official yet. all i can say for sure is that should it become official - i've got a lot to do.

i've got to buy a car - rent a uhaul (and there wasn't even a first date...damn!)- learn the lay of the land where i don't know a soul and bid farewell to redding - my home for the past 18 years. yeah, i'm scared shitless...but also excited.

perhaps in a few weeks time i will be pondering this move from the other end...

"I'm looking for an airport"

Okay, so it has been a while. Summer has a way of offering all sorts of outdoor alternatives to the computer, iPhone, or Blackberry.

I've spent some time in Portland, Oregon this month - a place that I've been casually flirting with for enough time to pass that warrants a real commitment, or shelving the idea. For the first time I really looked around and thought about living there...sending out resumes and cover letters like a fiend. With some positive responses. Responses that warrant my serious consideration. And soon.

My house is packed and I know that I have considered one pitstop before I leave Redding. But I might just forego it for a straight shot this time. I've made several detours here already. All of them interesting and significant. How well do I pack these boxes?

Redding has been a part of my life since I was 9 - when my dad flew planes and we would fly up as a family often. At that time, there was a small airport in the Enterprise area of town. My dad would fly over my grandmothers house and he would dip he wings so we knew to head on down to the airport (again, no iPhones, Blackberry or otherwise). I don't care if it is that tiny Enterprise airport or Frankfurt...I love airports. The comings and goings of it all! One particular departure from Redding had us on our typical route. Somewhere near Red Bluff,a strange noise filled the small 4 seater cabin and my dad talked to the control tower. Mom looked back at me to see how I was. Apparently I sat there with my hands clenched prayer-style and I was looking out the window for something. Mom asked about my window search and I replied "I'm looking for airports". We flew on home just fine.

No move needs to be so dramatic as that glitch...but there is no doubt, that at some point soon...there will be a new airport.

back in a jiff....

woah...it's looking a little dusty over here. go grab yourself a beverage. i"ll be back soon

a

we have a trio, folks

no more "wings", no more glittery "white glove" and no more "sweepstakes"..

when sleep eludes me

Hmm…well, I was hot. Then my brain would NOT power down. I started thinking about a bazillion things, then experienced anxiety about moving and what I’m going to do with some bigger items, and work (is my job secure?), is my parents’ health okay?…the stuff that keeps a lot of adults up at night I suppose. So I went outside and sat on the porch for a while (about 12:30) and watched a couple satellites, and a rather large bat fly over, listened to somebody do their dishes and enjoyed the cool breeze for a while.

to everything, there is a season

today i walked down the street with an umbrella in one hand and a cup of hot chocolate in the other...in redding, california.

gray matter

she goes there early...to decorate the hall with gerbera daisies and artful cards with various Zen-like sayings carefully placed on tables with tea lights and confetti. she senses that her own life (as she knows it) is about to turn topsy turvy...and still she decorates and celebrates...herself.

Once In A Lifetime

Talking Heads rule the day...although I have to disagree with the line: "same as it ever was"...because this sure as hell doesn't look like Kansas to me.

hey! i think i know you

this little treat popped up in a strange area of my backyard. (thank you birds!!) i think that this little dandy is a sunflower. what do you think? these are my favorite of flowers. they're hearty and make me smile...every time. about 10 years ago, a couple others just sprouted up out of the rocks of another of my backyards. let's hope it grows tall and strong...it will get plenty of sun at my place.

Jane Doe; Gold Star

I'm not sure if you journal at all. If you do - have you ever gone back to take a look at old entries? Or as a student - ever taken a look at old papers?

There was this brilliant professor in the Women's Studies department at Chico State in the early 2000's. This professor intimidated the shit out of me. I admired the hell out of her. I wrote excellent papers and got grades that refelected as much. But I remember her reminding us to take a look at our work as we grew as students, and as professionals. She said that we'll look back and say "Okay, that wasn't deep" when we thought we submitted a paper that was just that...or a proposal that we thought was spot on. And it might have been...for the time.

What I'm saying here isn't don't try. Write that paper, submit that proposal...or strive for whatever goal it is you set for yourself.

What I am saying is this: what we do is always subject to revision and improvement.

And thank Goddess for that.

Keep plugging along.....

A

Dance Like Nobody's Watching

...but don't wear cheap shoes...

can you hear what i hear?

Hey...can you hear that? That's what it sounds like when you're not talking.

the detention files

i was shocked to see that one of my junior high school friends had a copy of one these....i remember them well...my most common offense: uniform violation. if only i still had a copy of one of those...the write up or the uniform!!!

the rugburns

enjoyable evening with friend...yummy food - or should i say, hummus infused garlic ;)

as is the norm when you step out for an evening in redding - you're going to run into people you know --- from present, or past lives. you just accept that this is going to happen and deal...it's inevitable. like taxes.

so you enjoy your present company, the garlic infused hummus, the music...and then he walks in. not the guy you're going to meet. but the guy who didn't call. it's been a while and frankly, there aren't any hard feelings. besides, you have mutual friends. again, it's inevitable...you deal.

but then the guy leaves the table he is sitting at with his present squeeze and friends that keep glancing over at your table...and he swoops in to...

see how you've been. to apologize. explain why he didn't call. (okay - you had me at the apology...really.) besides, you've been duped for ordering hummus but were served garlic with a dash of the garbanzo (much to your secret delight). so you try to get through the awkward smalltalk with garlic breath. he lingers. you wonder. you smell like your grandparents house. god love them.

and then it begins to feel a lot like you trying to make him feel better about not calling. because really...if it were about you...he would've called. it's inevitable. like taxes.

still

on the way home from work...

on the way to the stairs down to the parking garage a woman comments that the weather is strange this afternoon. i agree and the woman adds "it feels like earthquake weather". my thoughts exactly. overcast, still...something a bit off. i prepare for my scooter ride home...my first legal ride since i passed the driving test this morning. on the the short commute i can smell bbq, rain and electricity - and while there is something unsettling about this "earthquake weather" i think the air smells quite delicious!

that rain did come, along with some hail and thunder. i'm off to go have a look at my t.v. that was a screen of pixels when i last left the room.

loca lemons!

here's something to make you laugh....note the crazed expression - for emphasis, of course! this was my first crack at making a cake from scratch...i'm a little (crazily) proud. this goes nicely with lemonade, bbq chicken salad and lovely friend with sheepdog ;)

just loved this one...

By Martha Beck


(OPRAH.com) -- Shortly after World War II, executives at Japan's Toyota Motor Company made a decision from which, I believe, we all can benefit. They decided to make cars the way they'd make, say, sushi.

Unlike most manufacturers, which bought and stored massive stockpiles of supplies, Toyota began ordering just enough parts to keep their lines moving, just when those parts were needed. This made them spectacularly productive, and turned the phrase "just in time" into business legend.

I know of the Toyota case because in my former life as an academic, I taught international business management. My students and I had some rousing discussions about just-in-time (JIT) manufacturing, as well as its alternative, which is known as just-in-case (JIC) inventory.

These students were the first people who hired me as a life coach (perhaps because I could never resist applying business theory to everyday life). When we discussed JIT versus JIC management as a lifestyle strategy, we concluded that Toyota's business innovation could positively impact all of our lives. If you feel overburdened, overstressed, and anxious, I'm betting the same is true for you. Oprah.com: 6 ways to let go of stress

Why just-in-case is just crazy

Most people live with a just-in-case mind-set because for most of human history, it made sense. The primary fact of life for just-in-case processes is: "Everything good is scarce!"

By contrast, just-in-time systems rely on the assumption "Everything good is readily available." Well, until quite recently, the former claim was true for most humans -- it's still true for many. But most magazine readers like you live in settings where basic necessities, like food, clothing, and other humans, are plentiful.

Don't Miss
Oprah.com How to steer clear of clutter
Oprah.com: Manage your time the right way
Oprah.com: De-stress your life instantly!
Living in an abundant environment but operating on the assumption that good things are scarce leads to a host of dysfunctions that can be summed up in one word: excess. Most of us are living in some kind of excess; we work too much, eat too much, rack up debt buying too much stuff. Yet, driven by the unconscious, just-in-case assumption that "everything good is scarce," we just keep doing and accumulating more. We've all seen some of the unfortunate results, and I've found that most fall into the following four categories:

Starving off the fat of the land

For years I noticed that my clients who lived in a mind-set of scarcity had trouble controlling their weight, even though they dieted assiduously. I also read studies showing that poor women -- particularly those who periodically starved themselves to feed their children -- were particularly plagued by obesity.

Researchers hypothesize that when the body knows it may be starved, whether by poverty or by dieting, it activates automatic just-in-case mechanisms that store fat on the body to get through the next "famine." Ironically, this biological just-in-case mechanism puts fat on precisely the people with the discipline to starve themselves.

Stuff tsunamis

Just-in-case thinking triggers primal, unconscious impulses to hoard good stuff, fat supplies being just one example. Combine JIC attitudes with a superabundant culture, and things can go wildly off kilter.

There have been several cases like the one in Shelton, Washington, where a woman recently suffocated under a pile of her own possessions. To recover her body, police reported having to "climb over [clutter] on their hands and knees. In some areas, their heads were touching the ceiling while they were standing on top of piles of debris." Oprah.com: Get rid of your clutter for good!

Money madness

My wealthiest clients have taught me that having lots of money doesn't quiet scarcity-based, JIC anxiety.

This point was reinforced for me when I heard about the suicide of the German billionaire who lost hundreds of millions of dollars in the recent financial crisis. Now, this poor guy wasn't literally a poor guy. He still had a personal fortune. But to a just-in-case thinker who's used to billions, it wasn't enough to keep him from throwing himself in front of a train.

Love's labor's lost

Just-in-case thinking destroys relationships faster than -- and sometimes with the assistance of -- a speeding bullet. Along with the impulse to hoard objects, it also triggers excessive attempts to control our supply of love -- that is, other people. So anxious lovers have their partners followed. Parents micromanage children. People-pleasers try to manipulate everyone into liking them.

This behavior isn't love; it's a fear-based outcome of believing love is scarce. If you've ever been on the receiving end of such anxious machinations, you know they make you want to run, not bond. Oprah.com: How to stop being a people pleaser!

Why just-in-time just makes sense:

As Toyota execs and my graduate students concluded so many years ago, hanging on to a just-in-case worldview in abundant environments is plain bad business. And as I've seen in countless coaching scenarios since, switching to a just-in-time mind-set ("Everything good is readily available") restores health and balance to our lives.

The great news is that just one mental shift -- focusing on the abundance of your environment -- switches your psychological settings so that your life automatically improves in many areas you may think are unrelated. This is essentially a leap from fear to faith; it's not religious faith but the simple belief that we'll probably be able to get what we need when we need it. When the issues above are considered through abundance-based, just-in-time thinking, it's a whole different ball game:

Food fulfillment

I've never been a weight loss coach; my focus is on helping people go from fear and suffering to relaxation and happiness. So I was baffled when many of my clients told me, "I'm finally losing weight -- and I'm not even trying."

This intrigued me so much that I spent years researching and writing a book about it ["The Four-Day Win"]. After reading thousands of studies and interviewing dozens of experts, I'm convinced that the thought "Everything good is readily available" kicks the body out of its panicky, fat-storing mode and into a state that helps it shed excess fat.

Stuff sufficiency

Dianne is 50-ish and newly divorced. Part of our coaching work helped her develop just-in-time confidence about money (which allowed her to leave the financial security of her emotionally dead marriage).

During our final session, she said, "Something weird is happening. All of a sudden, I'm tidy. I've always been a stuff person, but now I don't add clutter. It's a wonderful, spacious feeling." Dianne didn't achieve this by forcing herself to clean up. She simply developed the confidence of a just-in-time manager, and her behavior changed almost on its own.

Mellow money management

"I got really panicky when the economy went south," says Jackie, one of my fellow coaches. "All my business dried up, and I was really scared. But I hate feeling scared, and I'm a coach, so one day I coached myself back to trusting life. I felt better immediately, but what's strange is that clients started coming out of the woodwork. I had to start a waiting list."

This, as any Toyota alum will tell you, is what happens to people who have enough confidence to run a just-in-time operation. I can't quite explain this; it often seems nothing short of miraculous.

Perhaps this is why the authors of the Bible included the story of the wandering Israelites who were given manna from heaven, but only permitted to gather enough to supply their needs until the next manna-festation. Whether you take it literally or metaphorically, this tale was considered important enough to become holy writ. Why? I believe it's to counteract the just-in-case anxiety that makes billionaires keep hoarding more money.

The Israelite story-keepers wanted to remind readers that, miraculous as it seems, just-in-time confidence keeps supply lines clear and prosperity flowing.

Lasting Love

I've done my share of just-in-case controlling when it comes to love (I'd like to apologize to anyone who once wandered into my danger zone). Happily, I've learned that setting people free, not trying to control them, ensures a lifetime supply of love.

Here's the closest thing I know to a genuine love spell: "I'll always love you, and I really don't care what you do."

This is not a promise to stay in a relationship with someone whose behavior is destructive. It's a simple statement that you aren't dependent on the other person's choices. That means you can respond to someone as he or she really is, instead of trying to force a fallible person to be infallible. Knowing that love (like all good things) is readily available, we don't need to control any individual. And oh, how people love being loved without a care. Oprah.com: 6 love decisions we've made for you

Making the switch:

When I meet someone who's a mess of excess, I just itch to coach them. I know that if they'd reroute a few simple brain habits, their lives would improve almost effortlessly. The transformation wouldn't take much work -- no need to exhume childhood traumas or hook up an antidepressant IV.

We'd just throw the neurological toggle switch that exchanges fight-or-flight mode (the sympathetic nervous system) for rest-and-relaxation mode (the parasympathetic nervous system). Most animals experience this switch in response to environmental conditions. We humans possess an unparalleled ability to create it with our thoughts.

It's almost too easy: Simply by taking your attention off thoughts of scarcity and persistently focusing on observations of abundance, you can replace the nervous, just-in-case mind-set that kept our ancient forebears alive but is killing many of us.

The best way to effect this shift is to use these simple exercises:

1. List 10 times you thought that there wouldn't be enough of something and you survived.

2. List 10 areas where you have too much, not too little.

3. List 20 -- or 50, or 1,000 -- wonderful things that entered your life just at the right time, with no effort on your part. Start with the little things (oxygen, sunlight, a song on the radio). You'll soon think of bigger ones. Most of my clients realize that the most important things in their lives showed up this way.

I started doing exercise No. 3 several years ago, and I still haven't finished my list. Once you deliberately focus on abundance, you'll be overwhelmed by all the good things that show up like manna in the desert, without much effort on your part. If this seems too easy, you can go back to fearful, just-in-case thinking (you'll need a diet counselor, a housekeeper, and a financial planner, but that's okay -- they can substitute for friends).

But if, like me, my business school students, and my clients, you decide to try just-in-time thinking, you'll find yourself struggling less and accomplishing more in ways you'd never expect. You may kick yourself for not discovering this sooner. Relax. I promise, you're just in time.

orange popsicles and lemonade

it looks like it is that time of year....

2 Adults, 1 Child & a Chicken

I love houseguests who arrive bearing gifts! Wine...chocolate...yum. My cousin, her husband and son arrived Friday evening with another guest - one that would leave me a gift daily. A pet chicken. As I helped my cousin and her husband unpack their car Friday evening; my cousin asked "So, how do you feel about us bringing our pet chicken?". Me, intrigued as ever did not send them packing to the nearest Motel 6. So here are some pictures from the weekend...

NorCal Aids Challenge

Welcome to the last workday of this week...hopefully it was a good one for all of you. If you celebrate Easter - may you have a wonderful weekend celebrating with your friends & family. Save some chocolate for me.

In about one month I will be partiicpating in the NorCal Aids Challenge. A 330 mile bicycle ride through California's Central Valley. "Wow...when did she start training for that?" you ask. Ha...no, no...I'm participating as a crew member - but I still am raising money toward the cause. You can check out the webpage here http://www.norcalaidschallenge.net/ and type in my name if you want to donate. Many thanks!

Cheers and Chocolate Easter Bunnies!

A

the moon or new york city

a break in my new obsession: the police auction came in the form of a picture message sent to my cell followed up by a phone call. a friend is doing some travel on the east coast - she calls me this evening from times square. ~sigh~ tickled that she chose to call me up and share the moment - i wish i could be there too. she asks me what time it is here...i am thrown for a moment...it's the usual 3 hours earlier...but then, east coast time is always dear to this girl.

That quaint, country livin'

It isn't for me. Recent change of plans for a long weekend later in the month: Change requires swapped mode of transportation - plane? train? Both modes are ludicrously expensive, or long - respectively. In order to fly out of this town - you must offer up a small child (not necessariy your own) and choose between 2 times to fly...OR, hop the train in the middle of the night if the train arrives on time at all (last time I took the train, it was 3 hours late...and that is typical). Usually, these kinds of "adventures" are totally my thing. Not today. For a place that isn't big on growth and getting people to stay for long periods of time - they also make it quite hard to leave by any other mode aside from a personal vehicle. Yes...I'm feeling a bit snarky today. Bleh!!!

frommage

...dad looks at her, looks at me, then looks at her again...confused as he fumbles with the little purple camera. Finally, I say..she's looking for the perfect shot taken completely at random.

Crown Point, OR 8/07

missing

he looked over all the scraps, postcards and photos...sun in his eyes and squinting to see. one photo stood out but something was off - he wiped his nose and said to no one in particular, "that's her...but there isn't a flower in her hair".

Free Cokes for 'Monroe'

if ever there's been a day to jinx myself - today was the day. it started with an innocent facebook status message "amber knows in her heart that skirts and scooters don't mix, but she will trudge on..." friends made comments about it - but i never actually had an issue with either today....sometimes it is just tricky to work with both at the same time is all. just sayin'

later on dear friend calls and wants to go out for dinner after a less than stellar day. we decide on chinese and ...we're off. i'm starting to tell a story as we walk up to the door of 'new china' and then the beautiful silk skirt (thanks, mom!) that i was wearing for the first time betrayed me right then and there. the wind took my skirt for a wind sock and i frantically tried to keep the thing down - too late. what was contained in the front was exposed in the back and vice versa...i just didn't have enough hands. the door to 'new china' was open and i had a captive audience and therefore committed both to the patrons memory as "that girl" as well as to entering or making a MAD dash. it was warm, and there was no wind in the chinese place. theatrics complete....a laughing waiter stepped forward and asked how many in our party - then said "this way Monroe". i don't know if i've ever made such an entrance...but it was all too traumatic for my taste - which at that point, required a diet coke. being the celebrity of the evening, the laughing (and he was laughing every time he returned to our table - which was often) the laughing waiter kept the free diet cokes coming.

i have to go now....i'm going to google fishing lure weights to see if it is possible to sew them into the hem of all of my skirts....

capiche, eh?

to think that this conversation would have made no sense at all in 1999. last sunday evening during dinner...a friend looks at me from across the table and asks "so, are you on twitter?" i reply, "me? no, no i don't tweet...i just blog".

townies

nostalgia was the name of the game today.

i went to chico for a bbq to celebrate ms. sarah's birthday. sarah recently bought a sweet home in one of chico's numerous older neighborhoods. the people who owned the home prior had been there for 50+ years...it is fair to say they had a special place in their hearts for wallpaper. additionally, the family who once lived there also enjoyed a swimming pool and a pool table. both were left behind with the sale of the home. one sits proudly in the great room and the other has become a beautiful, terraced courtyard. i sat down in the courtyard this afternoon - enjoying the sun and sarah's two puppies, jack and jill.

later on in the day more family arrives. johnny abandons a game of pool to tend to the bbq so his daughter, caitlyn's boyfriend (another johnny) steps in for him. turns out johnny is going to college in redding but he went to high school in the same town where i did in massachusetts...a very small town. easton...home of stonehill college, a lot of really old stone buildings...notably - the library, a fantastic children's museum and the o.a. tigers. we talk about easton for a while - he asks when i went to school there. happens to be the same year that he was born. gasp! okay - - the year is 1989. johnny asks me what easton was like then. i tell him what i remember...and then i recall the boy who was always sitting in the center of town either in front of one of the ames buildings, or near the gas station and always late at night. i wondered about that boy then, but it has been years since i've thought about him. i snap back to the game of pool and immediately sink the 8 ball out of turn. johnny pretends it doesn't happen...

i head back outside and walk down to the courtyard where lillee, sarah's daughter is reading her new book from uncle johnny. the book is 'all about your new puppy' or something similarly titled...lillee is reading from the page with the headline "why does my puppy mount visitors?".

jack and jill look on.

cart 'em out

for weeks i've been having the strangest dreams. usually, the dreams that i remember are humorous, or fantastically bizarre in a good way. but my dreams of the last few weeks have been a parade of my past. people that have set me down, or that i set down, passed on - - are no longer in my life...and yet, come bedtime - the slideshow begins. sometimes the paranormal is involved - as in the case of my dream self awaking from sleep in a very uncomfortable maroon, velvet, low-back chair with a half-burnt cigarette in each hand. the window coverings (tab top) start to dance like piano keys - but there is no one there...they go up, and down by themselves. i wake up and it is 2:23 a.m. these dreams are never scary, but let's not tempt the dream king here. this morning i had another dream -complete with old cast of characters. i awoke and glanced at my alarm clock...it read 5:27; 3 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. i turned the alarm off and started my day earlier than usual - hoping to be rid of the current 'amber's posse from yesteryear' dream/playlist that is going on right now.

is that a banana...or?

what's going on with bananas? we've got people smuggling blow in banana crates, and deadly spiders lurking about this favorite fruit? why didn't the deadly spider bite the culprit who was smuggling the blow instead of ending up in some grocery emporium? how's that for karma? these are some hard times....we've got to work together!

indulge me

...how can you tiptoe toward the exit with your tap shoes on?...

-brazilian girls

lovely nina

...she is singin' to me today...feelin' good.

happy friday

mixed signals

i walk into my cubicle to find a brand new cell phone on my desk and a couple of cardboard boxes next to my chair. the new cell is for me...good, good...the boxes, also for me...um...

well, the new cell was a thoughtful touch i think to myself...

apparently i'm being bumped out of my cube and into the next one...which actually has a better view. well thank goodness for that.

jitterbug

Spoiled by Snail Mail

What a fine weekend! The weather is absoloutely beautiful out - even though the wind likes to play tricks on people in skirts.

I got some spring cleaning done - did substantial purging of closets and drawers....asked myself "when was this ever a good idea?" several times out loud. Relaxed, listened to a lot of Brazilian music and Morphine and just enjoyed the sun. Seems like the last several weeks have been spent indoors watching Netflix, taking Facebook quizzes (most likely written by high school boys), and plenty of reading...or updating my Netflix.

I don't even remember the last time I stepped foot inside a "video store". Yesterday afternoon reminded me why I haven't been in one for some time. I've grown so accustomed to selecting what I want to watch online and then the DVD ends up in my mailbox within 2 days. Love that! The scene at a local Blockbuster this weekend was reminiscent of Pac Man. I'm certain that if you could peel back the roof and look down into the video store at any "busy" time - that is what it would look like. Browsers closing in on you from both ends of the aisle...no escaping the one person who seems to have to move as you move, pause when you pause... down. every. single. aisle. "Does it really take that long to read the back of Bagheads?!?!".

People are amazing and wonderful creatures - and yes, connection requires participation and all that. I've griped a good gripe about technology replacing authentic human interaction - but I'm willing to forego it in the case of renting my DVD's.

...are you done with Bagheads....yet?

Tales of a Female Nomad

excellent read. i love travel writers...bill bryson being my favorite - but gelman offers another perspective that i found very interesting too.

I'm really not interested in "studying" anybody. I just want to slip into another way of life, not as a tourist, not as an academic, but, as much as possible, as a part of the community.

Gridlock Rock Stars!

I navigate my way through the construction work on the bridge when Bon Jovi comes on the radio...my charge perks up and begins to sing along (in parts...isn't that how we all sing in the car?)

"I'm a cowboy....steel horse I ride.....wanted....deeeeeeeeeeead or alive". Then she looks over at me with just the biggest grin I've seen - points to the dashboard and proclaims, "that's my life".

farfegnugen

Just when she thought she had opened all of her birthday presents...a somber affair that year...she came across a Hot Wheels car and a torn out page from a Volkswagon Beetle brochure with some scribbling near the 2004 VW Beetle color line-up: "the choice is yours baby".

She tossed the miniature car into the trash, crumpled the torn out page and decided to buy her own car.

they might be giants

on meeting an old friend for a drink....

he looks fashionable...he shows me his d & g kicks -courtesy of one of his students whose husband is the "dr. ruth of instanbul"...he smokes one of my parliaments....and we talk about the past 10 years.

funny how my parliaments bring out the smoker in so many non-smoking men i know!

we talk about dating men in instanbul...hell, asia too...and it is a nightmare...my friend reports. however, i still want to crash his couch anyway!

the night goes on and i see people who look so young...wait...i am getting older...oh! my friend announces "skinny jeans!" whenever he sees a male wearing a pair...my friend admits that he forgets that "people can understand english" here and we laugh as the male in the skinny jeans looks at us.

i ask him his opinion of the most trying part about living abroad...and he reports that "it is the little shit that breaks you"...isn't that the way of it!?

still...i ponder a ticket to instanbul before august...

revisiting an old post

revisiting an old book
"I am more comfortable in airports than I am in either of the houses I call, with undeserved nostalgia, Home. I am more comfortable in airports than I was in any of the eight different schools where I learned all of the things I now cannot remember. Airports are limbo spaces - blank, undemanding, nuetral. Expectations are clear. I am the passenger. I am coming or going. I am late, on time, or early. I must have a ticket. I must have identification. I must not carry a weapon. Beyond these qualifications, I do not have to define this body. I do not have to belong to one camp, school, or race, one fixed set of qualifiers, adjectives based on someone else's experience. I do not have to remember who, I, or anyone else, thinks I am. I am transitional space, place of a thousand hellos and a million goodbyes." -Rebecca Walker

Saturday February 16, 2008 - 12:37pm (PST) Permanent Link 0 Comments

kid fears

...ah....i am a sap. just got home from a rather lucrative evening of poker. there were a few interruptions to catch the academy awards. kate made her way to the podium and i got teary and clapped without reservation. i usually tear up when they do the montage of who has passed during the past 12 months...but that part was overshadowed by some serious hands of texas hold 'em. kate got me this year. and may i just say, she is ever the class act.

getting home from my glowing evening of poker and happy tears...and fresh from a road trip to fiddletown...i step up to my front door and fetch my keys. keys? keys....oh shit. again? really? we're doing this again? it's almost 11 at night and my keys are nestled on a cushion, or counter inside. it is too late to call the landlords who live in b to the f to the e. so i sit on my back porch and think this one over...

i spy a damp towel that was meant to dry...except that it has rained today...

i decide to pull some gangster-style action to get inside. towels muffle the broken glass, right? i get the towel in place and give a little kick to the bottom glass plate of my 5 panel french door and presto....like the movies, i'm in. relieved to be inside...i don't feel cool...i just feel like a jackass.

spare key: $2.50, window replacement: u/a
kicking in a window to break in ganster style: youtube calls this one.

tall tales

Growing up, my parents used to like to tell me about the lean years early in their marriage. Powdered milk, macaroni and cheese, travel by way of covered wagon - and they did say covered wagon. It was also during this period of time that I had a fondness for our then president, Jimmy Carter and his foreign policies....

One evening at the dinner table...

I took in this tale once again. But this time I tabulated the information in my little noggin as best a little girl could. There were several minutes of silence as I carefully threaded macaroni onto the tines of my fork...careful not to split them. I finally looked at my parents and asked...

Mom, dad...were you refugees?

humble pie

in keeping with the theme of new and not-the-most-pleasant discoveries recently...

a little yoga session affirmed that i am not very flexible....and this scares the hell out of me.

rearview mirrors are brutal: i have a new best friend...and his name is Tweezerman.

Pauly Walnuts wants his hair back

and alas, i have cabin fever.

i think that's it for today - - let me know if i forgot anything.

strange (pre)occupation

she moves from one machine to the next - inspecting, rotating and folding clothes. the old man keeps trying to make conversation with her about movies - movies that star children. at first the conversation seems innocent. frankly, she is in her mode and just wants to get this task out of the way. the old man keeps talking about 'home alone' (he believes there are 5 installments), 'dennis the menace' and about the motel where he lives. he keeps talking even though she continues her folding - making no attempt at eye contact. she comes to the last article - a red scarf and she folds it deliberately.

is love a primary color?

I'm off for a little break. Going to do some movie watchin', Swiss charro eatin, tart makin', jewelry creatin', happy dance booty shakin' celebratin' with my gnomies.

ciao!

fluff 'n fold

it wasn't that long ago that xm and sirius merged. satellite cable brought xm into my home for years and i grew to prefer satellite radio. and then the stations began to change a little...there was xm cafe that became "starbucks xm cafe", as if the coffee giant wasn't everywhere else already...it was now being pumped into my living room. oprah had her station, howard stern had his - it was becoming 'dial-a-brand'.

i later switched to charter cable where the music stations display all sorts of factoids - - and i am a little addicted to those. but today i read that xm/sirius is about to file for bankruptcy. what happened there? there is talk that paying celebrities like oprah and stern did xm/sirius in - but i'm skeptical of that claim. now, like starbucks - which really seemed to be everywhere in recent years and is becoming smaller by the week - how will xm/sirius weather this financial quagmire?

will we hear less of xm/sirius...or less "brand" on the station list?

i'm curious to see how this one plays out - and in doing so, i'm going with some kenny wisdom...

Ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowin' what to keep

...even Kenny knew when to go back to what he did best...when was the last time you ate at a Kenny Roger's Roasters. yeah, that's what I thought.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

a good egg

he makes his way to the admin. building by way of razor scooter. there is no appointment set, but he tries to reach his worker anyway. she comes out to let him know that he was approved. he does a little happy dance and reaches into his pocket - giving her a cadbury egg and unwraps one for himself. he gets a home, and the two enjoy their cadbury's as celebration.

you don't say?

man describes his labradoodle as "not the most handsome" of labradoodles...the disclaimer: the fence just didn't go up fast enough. he was walking alone.

Must Love Dogs

I've been telling friends about this great little coffee house a bit west of Weaverville since I visited the place last summer.

Patrons walk in to a great room with deep set windowss that look out to the patio and river, rustic walls with nooks for local art, candles and a jar containing doggie treats for 25 cents.

In fact, the first time I visited - there was an older dog wandering out on the patio. Immediately, I felt comfortable - taking in the summer morning with my coffee in hand, overlooking the river. Simply gorgeous. While I was not traveling with a pet - I liked that the Straw House seemed quite pet friendly - the doggy treat jar, my canine friend on the patio, even poop bags in a tidy container in the parking lot - a few feet away from a grassy area where it would appear that you could take your dog if you wanted to.

So months pass - - I tell Scalder about this place on the side of the road, a little bit west of Weaverville. Knowing that Ms. Greta P. accompanies Scalder much of the time - I figured, this would be an ideal place to go for a drive.



As I said, months have passed. I'm not sure if the Straw House has changed owners - or it was an "off" day. Scalder walks out onto the patio before coming in to ask the woman behind the counter if she can have Greta on the patio. The woman snaps "dogs have to be a leash!". Okay, but can they be on the patio? "dogs have to be on a leash". Um...so I go in and ask..."Is it alright to sit out on the patio with the dog, she is leashed?" The woman says "there are no dogs allowed on the patio". Okay.
So, Greta waits (on a leash) outside by the entrance. Patrons stop and talk to Greta, petting her and inquiring about her breed.


Finally, it's time to go. Scalder wants to let Greta run around before the drive back to Redding. Spotting the poop bag container on the tree right next to the gate leading to the grassy area....she heads for the gate. Before Scalder sets one toe past the threshold - the woman of "dogs must be on a leash" fame RUNS out and frantically says "dogs are not allowed on the grass, you can't have your dog out there". Okay, and we're off.

The Straw House is still a delightful place for a cup of coffee by the river - especially if you're camping in nearby Helena and want to cheat and go grab coffee out versus the rustic camping method. BUT - this place is sending a lot of mixed messages regarding dogs. I suggest a sign that says "dogs allowed in parking lot only" if that is even the case. It is unclear if they are even welcome there.

don't overcomplicate it

i'm on a mission...i'm dedicated. i am pumped. but sometimes i really want some chocolate...chocolate doughnuts with chocolate icing....but true to my mission....i seek out some artificial joy in my fridge. AH! sugar free chocolate pudding, check. I move on to the cabinets...because this cup of "chocolate" goo is not going to do it...I must doctor it up. So back to the cabinet...Marshmellows, check...I grab those and continue my search....Grape Nuts. I just know that when I mix these ingredients up I am going to have a full flavor dish of Rocky Road ...and it will be good.

There is no mantra to make this so.......

Upset tummy, check.

associations

So...you're what, not supposed to cry over spilled milk, a broken mirror is 7 years of bad luck...throw a pinch of salt over your shoulder (but when? i forget). so is there any superstition associated with spilling a Costco container of black pepper onto the floor? It's a bitch to clean up...makes you sneeze...but I was hoping there at least something interesting associated with spilling pepper. If there isn't, feel free to make something up and post it.

on getting around

I've always been enamored with modes of transportation...cars, planes, kayaks, tenders, paddle boats, roller skates and trains....you get the idea. And on some days I like to imagine that I look like this dish (below) as I prepare to hop on my scooter....versus the glove fumbling, bobblehead that I am.
Apparently, I have a neighbor who does not share the love for such variety. As I passed by him on my scooter one Sunday morning...the man took particular offense to me, my scooter....all of it. So much so that he screamed at me to "Get a car!!"...I think he called me a winner...or maybe it was something else....but I could hear the screaming all the way to the end of the street. What business is it of his whether or not I own a car, or like himself - four, for that matter. Jackass. Funny thing, as he was yelling at me...he was washing a car that later appeared on the street with a "for sale" sign. I wonder if he worked at Miller Auto at one time.....
doh.

My neighbor might be a jackass...but I have some great friends....some of them actually run because they like to. Above is a picture of Scalder before her first race. I look forward to cheering her on at the next race, and the next......

my darling, my sharpie

recently, i was checking out at cost plus when the cashier picked up one of my items and added "you know, you might want to touch this up with a sharpie pen." great idea! from there, the cashier and i talked about the wonders of a sharpie...it's great for furniture touch up, picture frame touch up, shoe touch up, drawing on passed out friends, sometimes as a quick nail polish fix...especially for goths and i am quite certain that there is an army of vehicles in shasta county that are "painted" entirely 'by sharpie'. the cashier and i traded tips and laughter and then she said "oh, and it also works great when used for eyeliner!" yeah, uuuum.....

you know you're ready to move when...

everyone seems to be praying for some rain. for once, i am happy to be without it this winter. selfishly, i am not thinking ahead to the coming months here.

like the locals do....

after a fine time searching for voodoo donuts .."is it on davis? is it on burnside, is it on 3rd...??" scalder and i decided to stay in for new year's and create our own tapas bar. after getting drenched from the voodoo donut adventure - we took refuge (wallets don't apply) in the nearest whole foods a/k/a "take it like a vegan". the upscale, overpriced grocery was crammed with all sorts of people....but there was one thing that we noted as the most common accessory....the knitted...braided...beanie. there was even an end-cap dedicated to "lumber chic"...or loom-bear sheek (come on, roll those r's) we selected our beanies and had a mini photo-shoot in the household cleaning aisle...we made our purchases and headed home...pockets much lighter, heads much warmer and our insulin levels spiked from not beer,...but the donuts.....we felt like portlanders already....